an ache rises in my stomach

gurgling

twirling and twisting.

by mid-morning

i am aching inside my skull.

i laugh delightfully

smiling, presenting my work

and make conversation

oh-so friendly.

when my boyfriend and i break up

i don’t tell anyone.

i wrap myself around it

and allow the weight

to bear down on me.

i don’t want to share.

laying still in my bed

i let it soak

and absorb into me.

i feel it fully

but say nothing.

my go-to coping strategy.

i check to make sure

my roommates are away

before i scrub the floor

and breathe in cleaning spray.

manically wiping

on my hands and knees.

they return to scents of

pine sol and fresh laundry.

see, i’d rather just deal

than fish for sympathy.

i’ll stuff it inside

that stubborn, strong part of me.

i won’t allow them to see

i carry the weight of everything.